Sexual Harassment and Sexual Abuse … Confusion

Deep breath.

It’s Monday.

This has been in my head for a while. I am confused. The country, as usual, is confused.

Has this sexual harassment, sexual assault, business got you confused? Are you, besides jumping up and down, gleefully, because some really creepy nutmegs have finally been exposed for mistreating women, scratching your head, just a wee bit, about all of this?

Let’s agree on one thing, can we? (Sticking my gobble neck out a bit, here).

Let’s just say that, for the sake of this discussion of what is in my head, that sexual assault is wrong. Sexual harassment is wrong. I really miss the word rape, because sexual assault sounds a wee bit too benign. I suppose they were broadening the term to include other sexual behavior, but even the terminology has to be explained, today.

Another thing. I do not want this to be about casting aspersions on all men. Most men are not sexual predators, sexual harassers, sexual assaulters, and many of them are probably even more confused about what is going on than women.

Last evening, I watched a couple of hours of a show on Hitler and history and what happened at the end of the war, in Germany, and other parts of Europe.

The Soviets, who took over much of Germany, treated the women as the spoils of war and raped, and raped and raped.

This wasn’t only in Germany and it wasn’t only in that war.

It has happened through time and continues to happen, today. ISIS and other terrorist groups, capture women, many of them young, for the purposes of raping them.

There are traffickers that use our highways to move women who, are slaves to sex.

Occasionally, we read stories about a woman or women, or children, who have been locked in fetid filthy, basements, dungeons, for years, to be used for sex. They are raped, beaten, destroyed as much as one human can destroy another human.

Sex. It can be used for love. It can be used for pleasure. It can also be used to gain power over someone, destroy someone, and obliterate a woman’s dignity and, sometimes, soul.

And that is about where my certainty ends. The rest of this gets muddled.

What has brought about this sea-change that is going on right now? The sexual misconduct with many of these accused men, has gone on for years.

I am not even sure that I can write the rest of this in a coherent way. I might even contradict myself.

Maybe I should start with questions.

Oh, nutmeg, I am going to just jump in.

Here are some questions and concerns I have about this.

How the ginger snaps, did Harvey Weinstein carry out this abuse and terror, for so many years? And why didn’t someone stop him, sooner? Yes, I know that women were afraid of him. But I have to believe that enough people knew, that someone, someway, he should have been stopped, sooner.

The same with Charlie Rose, Matt Lauer, and the multitudes of stars that have fallen from the rarified air of their sky?

I am not intentionally blaming “victims,” but at this point, have we jumped the broom that is contrary to innocent until proven guilty?

Just as in politics, it appears that the media is being used instead of our judicial system.

Men are being declared guilty, losing jobs, careers, families, sometimes, by anonymous sources who told a reporter that so and so, did this twenty-five years ago. My question is, how much weight should a statement from an anonymous source, carry, especially when the alleged occurrence, happened so long ago? Is there a burden of proof that should be established?

I am jumping around here. That is what I do when confused.

Ok, the word that comes to mind with this is, “murky.”

Is a wolf-whistle, sexual harassment or assault? What about a wink? What about placing an arm on the small of a back to escort a woman though a door? Can a man tell a woman she looks great, without having it be seen as a come-on?

Those are questions I bet a lot of men are asking.

Some of this boils down to the same thing that we are having trouble with in politics, and so many other areas of our society. Who is telling the truth?

Was there a time in our lives, say in the sixties, when the rules were different? The sixties? The “Mad Men” days? Have the rules changed or were they always there, but swept under the linoleum?

Another slippery slope, here, but I am laying the cards in my head out. You can help me with my thinking.

I am not going to say that women are bringing them on themselves. But … our society, Hollywood, for certain, magazines, for certain, Victoria Secret, for certain, are selling sex. I have never seen so many bulbous, exposed breasts in my life, as I have in the last 4-years. Look at what men, women, children, are exposed to. SEX. Breasts. Entertainers with slits up to there. Young girls, barely teens, trying their hardest to look sexy. What is the point of dressing like that?

Even after I just wrote that, I don’t know if that has any validity, because I do believe that much of this mess is about men and power and dome unhealthy, sick, attitudes towards women. The psyche of it, in many cases, runs deep.

But I do want to believe that women have some control in some of these situations. If not, it is too easy for women to be seen as constant victims instead of being strong and being sensible about avoiding them.

I don’t know. I am not even sure that I made any sense. That is because I am confused.

I guess one positive things is happening. This is one way to clean out Congress.

Now, if they would just tell us which Congressman they had to pay the hush money for.

Confused in South Carolina


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